Contrary to popular opinion, vegans can, in fact, take a joke. But there’s only so many times you can hear “how do you know if someone’s vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
Humor is subjective of course, so whether these jokes make you cry with laughter, let out a small chuckle, or roll your eyes so hard your pupils disappear, we hope you’ll enjoy them for what they are: sometimes charming, sometimes cringey, but never cheesy (get it?).
So without further ado, here are 10 of our top vegan jokes. (PS – we update this article regularly, so bookmark this page and check back again later!)
10 best vegan jokes
1. What do you call an argument between two vegans?
(Submitted by @ShortnBluntTho via Twitter)
2. I hate vegan jokes, they’re soy cheesy.
(Submitted by @BLICKYMINAJ via Twitter)
3. What did the vegan wear to the pool?
(Submitted by anonymous)
4. I went vegan for love. Now I hate everybody.
(Submitted by @1Bvtr via Twitter)
5. If you can’t afford to travel, go vegan. You’ll get stranded on 25 different desert islands.
(Submitted by Neil, London)
6. Why did the tofu cross the road?
To prove it wasn’t chicken.
(Submitted by Tomas, Toronto)
7. If you think being vegan is expensive, think of all the money you’ll save when your friends stop inviting you out to dinner.
(Submitted by Isayas, Addis Ababa)
8. What do you call an argument between two vegans?
Not “beef,” just two people with bad tempehs.
(Submitted by @AModernRemedy via Twitter)
9. What’s the best way to keep milk fresh?
Leave it in the cow.
(Submitted by Levi, Sydney)
10. How many meat-eaters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They prefer to stay in the dark.
(Submitted by Darrell at PBN)
Best fruit, vegetable, and vegan puns
Hungry for more vegan humor? Get creative with these 40 fruit, vegetable, vegan, and vegetarian puns.
1. Give peas a chance
2. It was a wake-up kale
3. This DJ really knows how to drop the beet
4. The new car is great, there’s plenty of legume
5. I don’t have mushroom at all
6. Lettuce eat
7. I love you so matcha
8. Turnip the music
9. It’s a little off-beet
10. You’ve always bean like this
11. I yam who I yam
12. Soya bean up to much lately?
13. Let’s not beet around the bush
14. You’ve guac this
15. Berry nice
16. We make a great pear
17. From my head tomatoes
18. Let’s kale it quits
19. Never soy never
20. Needless to soy
21. That was a close kale
22. Let’s avocuddle
23. Don’t settle for medi-okra
24. It’s a pretty big dill
25. Don’t kale my vibe
26. Please leave melon
27. They don’t carrot all
28. You always have to have the final soy
29. Everyone romaine calm
30. Bean there, done that
31. Watch out, this boat has a leek!
32. We’re running out of thyme
33. It’s still in mint condition
34. Sure, we can orange that
35. You look mango-nificent
36. You hold the kiwi to my heart
37. You did a grape job
38. Nevermind, it will turnip somewhere
39. Here today, gone tomato
40. Olive you so much
What are your favorite vegan jokes? We keep this article updated, so let us know in the comment section below for a chance to be featured! We also share vegan memes on Instagram.