10 Hilarious Vegan Jokes To Make You Laugh Until You Cry (Maybe)

Contrary to popular opinion, vegans can, in fact, take a joke. But there’s only so many times you can hear “how do you know if someone’s vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”

Humor is subjective of course, so whether these jokes make you cry with laughter, let out a small chuckle, or roll your eyes so hard your pupils disappear, we hope you’ll enjoy them for what they are: sometimes charming, sometimes cringey, but never cheesy (get it?).

So without further ado, here are 10 of our top vegan jokes. (PS – we update this article regularly, so bookmark this page and check back again later!)

10 best vegan jokes

1. If you can’t afford to travel, go vegan. You’ll get stranded on 25 different desert islands.
(Submitted by Neil, London)

2. Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!
(Submitted by Joanna, Bali)

3. Why did the vegan get fired?
Their job performance didn’t meat expectations.
(Submitted by Gerardo at PBN)

4. I met this woman today who said she recognized me from a vegan group, but I’d never met herbivore.
(Submitted by Mohammed, Amsterdam)

5. What does a vegan zombie eat?
GRAAIIIIIIIINS
(Submitted by Lisa, California)

6. What do you call a vegan dinosaur?
A Falafel Raptor.
(Submitted by Jack at PBN)

7. What do you call it when one chickpea murders another?
Hummus-cide
(Submitted by Lisa, California)

8. An argument between two vegans is not called beef. Just two people with bad tempehs.
(Submitted by Valeria, Spain)

9. How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?
Two – one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.
(Submitted by anonymous)

10. How many meat-eaters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They prefer to stay in the dark.
(Submitted by Darrell at PBN)

Best fruit, vegetable, and vegan puns

Hungry for more vegan humor? Get creative with these 30 fruit, vegetable, and vegan puns.

1. Give peas a chance
2. It was a wake-up kale
3. This DJ really knows how to drop the beet
4. The new car is great, there’s plenty of legume
5. I don’t have mushroom at all
6. Lettuce eat
7. I love you so matcha
8. Turnip the music
9. It’s a little off-beet
10. You’ve always bean like this
11. I yam who I yam
12. Soya bean up to much lately?
13. Let’s not beet around the bush
14. You’ve guac this
15. Berry nice
16. We make a great pear
17. From my head tomatoes
18. Let’s kale it quits
19. Never soy never
20. Needless to soy
21. That was a close kale
22. Let’s avocuddle
23. Don’t settle for medi-okra
24. It’s a pretty big dill
25. Don’t kale my vibe
26. Please leave melon
27. They don’t carrot all
28. You always have to have the final soy
29. Everyone romaine calm
30. Bean there, done that

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What are your favorite vegan jokes? We keep this article updated, so let us know in the comment section below for a chance to be featured! We also share vegan memes on Instagram.