Preheat the oven to 350°F (176°C). Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
Make the coconut bacon. Mix the tamari, syrup, liquid smoke, salt, black pepper and cayenne in a bowl. Add the coconut flakes, toss gently with your hands and set aside.
Cut the bread into bite-size croutons, about ½ inch (13 mm). Put the croutons on a lined baking sheet. Toss with a drizzle of olive oil, salt, pepper and a pinch of garlic powder.
Spread the coconut flakes on a lined baking sheet in a mostly single layer. They will be very sticky, but try to separate them as much as possible so they crisp up. Discard the leftover marinade.
Place the coconut and croutons in the oven. Bake the coconut bacon for 5 minutes, then flip and bake another 5 minutes. Leave the croutons in for another 5 minutes (15 minutes total). While the coconut and croutons are baking, dice the green onions and tomato.
Cut the avocado into chunks or slices, whichever you prefer! Dice the tofu into bite-size pieces. Take the coconut bacon out of the oven after 10 minutes, or when it looks crispy.
Make the dressing. Mix the cashew butter, mustard, syrup, vinegar, water, salt and pepper in a small bowl.
Divide the romaine between two large bowls. Top each salad with baked tofu, coconut bacon, green onions, avocado and tomato. Add a handful of sprouts if you’re feeling like a California hippy.